The Limitations of Self-Help Books: Why They May Not Work for Everyone

The Limitations of Self-Help Books: Why They May Not Work for Everyone

Self-help books have become a staple in personal development, offering advice, strategies, and insights to encourage positive change. 

However, despite their popularity, not every reader finds the guidance effective. Several key factors can limit the impact of these books on individual growth and transformation:

Individual Circumstances

One primary reason self-help books may not resonate with all readers is the diversity of individual circumstances. Personal challenges vary widely; what works for one person may not apply to another due to different life experiences, contexts, and readiness to change. For instance, a reader facing a specific emotional crisis may find broad advice unhelpful if it doesn't directly address their unique situation.

Lack of Personal Engagement

A crucial component of successful personal development is the reader's commitment to change. Simply reading a self-help book doesn't equate to actively working on oneself. Many readers may find themselves skimming through pages without taking the time to implement the proposed strategies. This lack of engagement undermines the potential benefits of the book, making it more an exercise in consumption than transformation.

Underlying Mental Health Issues

It is essential to recognize that some personal obstacles may stem from deeper mental health issues. For individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, or trauma, self-help books often fall short. In such cases, professional intervention may be necessary to address these complex challenges adequately. Self-help advice can supplement therapy, but it cannot replace it.

The Importance of Accountability

Another limitation of self-help books is the absence of accountability. When readers work through their issues independently, it's easy to fall back into old habits without external support. A therapist or coach can provide necessary guidance and monitoring, ensuring that individuals stay on track in their journey toward personal growth.

Maximizing the Benefits of Self-Help Literature

To gain the most from self-help books, readers can take several proactive steps:

1. Select Books Based on Your Needs: Tailor your reading choices to address specific challenges you face. This targeted approach can enhance the relevance and applicability of the advice.

2. Actively Apply the Advice: Engage with the material beyond passive reading. Identify actionable steps presented in the book and make a concerted effort to practice them regularly. Setting aside time for reflection and experimentation can facilitate real change.

3. Seek Professional Help When Needed: Recognize when an issue may require more than self-help solutions. Consulting a therapist can provide the necessary support and guidance for dealing with complex mental health matters.

In summary, while self-help books can offer valuable insights and strategies for personal improvement, their effectiveness is not universal. By understanding the factors that limit their impact and proactively engaging with the content, readers can enhance their chances of translating that knowledge into meaningful change in their lives.

Why Some People Are Nicer to Strangers than to Family

It’s a paradox that many have observed: Individuals frequently extend more kindness to acquaintances or even fleeting encounters than they do to the very people who love and support them unconditionally. 

Let us consider the underlying reasons for this behavior, which can stem from a mix of societal expectations, emotional exhaustion, and the complexities of family relationships.

The Nature of Family Relationships: 

Family love is often taken for granted. This unconditional bond can lead to a sense of safety and comfort, but it also carries an implicit understanding that family will endure whatever behavior is directed at them. This safe space can breed complacency. 

Family members may feel that they can express their frustrations, vulnerabilities, and less desirable traits without the fear of losing the relationship, reserving their best manners and considerate behavior for those outside the family unit, believing that their loved ones will tolerate their less courteous moments. 

Frustration and Emotional Exhaustion:

For individuals who face negativity or stress outside the home—whether it be at work, school, or in social circles—their home may unintentionally become a dumping ground for emotional baggage. 

The frustrations accumulated throughout the day can lead to a counterproductive release of tension within the family setting. This “displacement,” manifests as irritability, harshness, or a general lack of patience toward family members, despite their supportive intentions.

The viral sentiment:

“Don’t waste all your niceness on the world. Save some for your family when you get home,” challenges the individual to re-evaluate their priorities in emotional labor. 

The goal should be to establish a balance where the family setting is infused with the same kindness that is extended to strangers.

The Irony of Expectation: When one interacts with strangers, there exists a social contract that often encourages politeness, respect, and kindness. These interactions, albeit superficial, often operate under the assumption that “we are all in this together,” creating a temporary bubble of goodwill. Conversely, with family, there is the unfortunate tendency to drop this facade, as loved ones are often expected to understand one’s flaws, faults, and off-days without judgment.

Seeking Validation Outside the Family: Moreover, the desire for validation can play a significant role in this kind of behavior. In public interactions, the approval of strangers can provide a fleeting sense of accomplishment. 

Individuals may go to great lengths to be perceived positively by those outside their intimate circles, inadvertently sacrificing the quality of family relationships in the process. Such external validation can warp priorities, where kindness is reserved for those with whom there’s little true emotional investment.

Bridging the Kindness Gap: 

Addressing this paradox requires an intentional effort to recalibrate one’s approach to family relationships. By prioritizing nurturing relationships at home and recognizing the emotional toll of external pressures, individuals can work towards creating a more compassionate and supportive family dynamic. 

Our families deserve just as much kindness as the strangers we encounter, and by finding ways to bridge that gap, we can generate environments where everyone truly feels valued and appreciated.

Embrace Your Self-doubt As an Opportunity for Growth

It's important to remember that self-doubt is a universal experience, even among those who seem confident and successful to the outside world. Those moments of uncertainty are not a reflection of your worth or abilities; they are simply part of the human journey.

Embrace your self-doubt as an opportunity for growth. Each time you face it, you're learning more about yourself, your values, and your resilience. Remember, many of the world’s greatest leaders, innovators, and artists have battled self-doubt but chose to push through it. They transformed their fears into fuel for their passion.

Trust that every step you take, no matter how small, brings you closer to your goals. Believe in yourself, because you are capable of amazing things. You have the strength within you to overcome this moment of doubt. Keep pushing forward—your journey holds incredible possibilities!

Be gentle with yourself; it’s okay to feel uncertain. Acknowledge your feelings, but don't let them define you. Instead, focus on your strengths and the progress you've made. Celebrate the small victories, and keep moving forward. 

How To Know if You Should Not Say That

I heard a minister say, “If you attach—and that’s just the way I want it—to what you say, and if that is NOT the way you want it, then that’s how you know you should not say it.”

For instance, if you say, “We’re doomed—and that’s just the way I want it,” but then realize that this is not how you truly feel or wish to express yourself, it’s time to replace those discouraging words and thoughts with more encouraging ones.

WORDS ARE POWERFUL.

Be mindful not to speak negativity into your life. It’s crucial to carefully consider what you say or wish upon others, as our words carry weight and can have significant impacts on our emotions and reality.

Instead, pray and focus on becoming the change you wish to see in the world. 

Embrace positivity and encouragement, both for yourself and those around you. 

Remember, the language we use shapes our experiences and influences our lives. Choose wisely!

Straight, Curly, or Colorful: It’s Our Hair, Our Choice

Frequently, I encounter videos and comments expressing disapproval towards Black women who change the texture or color of their hair. This scrutiny seems disproportionate and raises questions about why such choices are often targeted within this community.

To provide some context, White women have been altering their hair—through coloring, straightening, or wearing wigs and extensions—for generations. Historically, even White men have done the same;

With the exception of George Washington, 

The Founding Fathers, wore wigs. So, why does it appear acceptable for one race to freely express themselves through their hair while another faces judgment for doing the same?

It's essential to recognize that individuals of all races make personal choices about their hair. Some Black and White women may feel that curly or wavy hair doesn’t align with their self-image and choose to straighten it. Conversely, others may think their straight hair lacks character and opt to add waves or curls. Likewise, hair color can be a vital part of self-expression, leading many women—regardless of race—to experiment with hues they feel best represent them.

Amid this dialogue, it’s crucial to acknowledge that while some Black women may alter their hair due to societal pressures, many others do it simply out of personal preference or the desire for change—similar to their White counterparts. The ongoing "embrace your natural hair" movement is important, but it should not cultivate an environment where individuals are criticized for their choices. Accusing someone of self-rejection simply because they wear wigs, extensions, or choose different hair colors can feel mean-spirited and counterproductive.

In my view, the mantra can be simplified to this: Straight hair, no hair, fake hair—who cares? What matters far more is promoting kindness, acceptance, and understanding. If health concerns regarding hair chemicals drive some of these conversations, it’s vital to discuss those with care rather than using them as a platform to belittle personal choices.

Ultimately, we must learn to coexist peacefully and embrace individual expressions of beauty, no matter how diverse they may be. Life is too short to be entangled in needless judgments. Let’s focus on what truly matters—supporting one another in our journeys of self-expression and personal growth.

Apologizing Is Not Always Easy

"May you heal from the things that no one ever apologized for." This poignant sentiment finds echoes in the work of Nakeia Homer, reminding us of the silent wounds we often carry.

Growing up, I frequently found solace in Elton John's haunting ballad, "Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word." Interestingly, I never struggled with offering apologies myself—at least, not back then. My youthful heart was open, and saying "I’m sorry" felt natural.

As I journeyed through life, however, I began to witness the complexities of apology. I observed how both I and those around me grappled with the weight of unspoken words and unacknowledged pain. The simple act of saying "I'm sorry" can sometimes feel insurmountable, even as we yearn for recognition and closure from others.

With this realization, I invite us all to embrace the practice of forgiveness. Let us commit to healing—not just from the apologies we never received, but also from the heavy silence that often surrounds us. In doing so, we can pave the way for lighter hearts and deeper connections. May we all find a way to heal and grow from our shared experiences, even when words are left unspoken.

A message about not pursuing dreams and goals solely for happiness

It's important to understand that true contentment doesn't come from accomplishing your goals or dreams - it has to come from within. If you aren't satisfied with yourself before you achieve your aims, you likely won't be satisfied after you do.

The mistake many people make is thinking that reaching their goals will finally make them happy. They put all their energy into the destination, rather than finding joy and fulfillment in the journey itself. But lasting happiness doesn't work that way. 

You have to learn to be at peace with who you are, right here and now. Develop self-acceptance and learn to appreciate yourself, regardless of what you've achieved. Only then can you pursue your dreams in a healthy, sustainable way.

Focus on the process, not just the end result. Find meaning, purpose and satisfaction in the steps you're taking, not just the final outcome. And remember - your worth isn't defined by your accomplishments. You are enough, exactly as you are.

PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP: Keep Pursuing Your Goals and Trusting The Process

The path to achieving our goals is rarely a straight line - it's full of twists, turns, and challenges that can make the progress feel discouragingly slow. But I want you to know that every step you take, every lesson you learn, every ounce of effort you pour in is valuable and brings you closer to where you want to be.

I know it's easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others or feeling like you're not moving fast enough. But the only pace you need to focus on is your own. Keep trusting the process, and enjoying the journey as much as you can. 

Your goals may evolve over time, and that's okay - the important thing is that you're doing work that lights you up.

Remember to make time for your loved ones and count your blessings.

May God give you your heart's desires.

Your Personal Growth and Transformation

Your personal growth and transformation can create a ripple effect, positively impacting the world around you.

Seeking To Understand vs Seeking To Be Understood

Seeking to understand enables us to put things into perspective and achieve better outcomes in our interactions with others.

It helps us decode non-verbal cues, such as body language, tone of voice, or facial expressions. 

These subtle indicators provide valuable context to the conversation, helping us respond appropriately and fostering a clearer line of communication.

Tips For Healing From Heartbreak: How To Open Your Heart To Love Again

It's understandable to feel hesitant about jumping back into a relationship after being let down or hurt in the past. Negative experiences can make it hard to trust and be vulnerable again. However, closing yourself off to love out of fear can prevent you from finding the fulfilling partnership you desire.

The key is to focus on what you want in a relationship, rather than dwelling on past disappointments. When you shift your mindset, you open yourself up to new possibilities and attract more positive experiences.

Here are some tips to help you heal from heartbreak and open your heart to love again:

1. Reflect on your past, but don't get stuck there. Acknowledge the pain you've experienced, but don't let it define you. What did you learn? How can you apply those lessons to your future?

2. Identify your relationship needs and desires. What qualities are most important to you in a partner? What type of dynamic do you want to cultivate? Get clear on your vision.

3. Reframe your expectations. Rather than expecting the worst, focus on the best possible outcome. Believe that you deserve a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

4. Practice self-love. Take time to nurture yourself and address any lingering insecurities. The more you can love and accept yourself, the easier it will be to be vulnerable with someone else.

5. Be patient and stay open. Healing takes time. Trust that when the right person comes along, you'll be ready. In the meantime, focus on living your best life.

The wounds of past heartbreak don't have to keep you from finding love again. By shifting your mindset and focusing on what you want, you can attract a relationship that aligns with your deepest desires. Have faith in the possibilities that lie ahead

Note: The article and tips were contributed by AI.

Happiness is Not Always a Simple Choice

Happiness is Not Always a Simple Choice

The notion that happiness is a choice is a pervasive one, often presented as a panacea for life's challenges. However, the reality of achieving and maintaining happiness is far more complex.

It's true that for those living in relatively stable and secure environments, with their basic needs met, cultivating a positive mindset can indeed be a powerful tool for finding joy. Reframing negative thoughts, focusing on gratitude, and engaging in activities that bring pleasure can all contribute to a greater sense of well-being.

Yet, the world is not neatly divided into those who can choose happiness and those who cannot. Many individuals face significant obstacles, such as trauma, grief, mental illness, or systemic oppression, that can make the path to happiness arduous and, at times, seemingly out of reach.

It's important to recognize that happiness is not a simple binary – it's a dynamic state that fluctuates and evolves throughout one's life. For some, happiness may feel like a constant struggle, while for others, it may come more naturally. Placing the burden of choice on those facing immense challenges can be not only misguided but also potentially harmful, as it can lead to self-blame and further exacerbate their suffering.

True happiness is not just an individual pursuit but also a collective responsibility. By fostering compassion, understanding, and access to resources, we can create an environment that supports the well-being of all people, regardless of their circumstances.

Ultimately, happiness is a complex and nuanced human experience, one that requires empathy, patience, and a willingness to acknowledge the diverse realities that shape each person's journey. Only then can we truly empower individuals to find joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose in their lives.

Most UnLikely To Be Queen

From the time she was in middle school,

she had anticipated being queen of her high school.

It all started the summer she turned twelve.

She had been visiting her grandparents for the school break.

One afternoon, she heard a song on the radio that stirred her emotions. It reminded her

of how she had been sneered at through the years by some of her peers as well as some adults.

She silently vowed...

"I'm going to sing this in my high school pageant and it's going to move everyone to tears and I'm going to be the school’s queen."

By mid-September, in her first semester

of her senior year in high school, her homeroom teacher, Mr. Dufford, announced "It is time for the annual Miss Shamrock Pageant."

He wrote the names on the board of the students who wanted to participate in the pageant.

Then he commanded everyone to put their heads down and raise their hands to vote.

"Oh no! No one likes me. How am I going to be able to run for Miss Shamrock?"

The process to become a contestant never occurred to Nita until now.

A guy blurted...

"Y'all, let’s vote for Nita. That would be a trip to see her walking on stage.”

They laughed and snickered but it did not bother her. She hoped they would do just that. Vote for Nita.

"If they vote for me, I got it from here."

When Nita got home and told her mom she was going to be a contestant in the school’s pageant, her mom bought her the album that included the song she wanted to sing.

A week later, Nita's mom bought the music sheet and made an appointment for her to rehearse with a music teacher who played piano.

Nita's friend, Melissa Jones, loaned Nita her blue chiffon gown for the evening wear segment of the competition.

A friend of the family, Lorraine Hancock loaned Nita her gray tweed skirt and jacket for the business wear segment of the competition.

The typing teacher, Ms. Vivian Greene (who was also the head of the modeling club) taught Nita how to walk in the pageant.

The pageant organizer, Ms. Patricia Gold (who was also a gym teacher and athletic coach) set up a meet-and-greet with the judges who candidly spoke with the contestants in the school’s library the day before the pageant.

On the night of the pageant, as the contestants awaited their turn to grace the stage, their faces beamed with happiness.

When the time had come for Nita to sing her rendition of "At Seventeen" by Janis Ian, she took to the stage and poured her heart into the song, while Ms. Carolyn Cleveland grandly played the piano.

Nita's eyes were teary, but she dared not cry to keep her voice from breaking. She wanted the audience to hear every word of the song that resonated with her.

The audience was moved to tears.

A junior named Nicki Boyd met Nita backstage in the petitioned hallway.

As the tears streamed down her face, she exclaimed, "Nita, that song was so beautiful, but you're not ugly."

"Aww Nicki, don't cry. I'm fine."

The two hugged, then Nicki walked away.

Nita's mom returned to where the contestants prepped and waited.

"Nita, when you were up there singing, the audience got so quiet, you could hear people sniffling."

Nita's eyes stretched as she murmured "Wow."

That night, Nita won Grand Talent.

And... Miss Shamrock.

The crowd cheered as she took her walk down the ramp with a crown on her head and a bouquet of carnations and the Grand Talent trophy in her arms.

The jazz ensemble band played their instrumental version of "One in a Million You" by Graham Central Station and Larry Graham.

It was the music Nita had hoped to hear for that special moment.

As she took her seat on the stage to have her picture taken with the class queens, a crowd rushed to congratulate her.

A girl (who had graduated a year earlier) hugged Nita with a firm grip around her neck as she uttered "I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA WIN (WITCH)." It was actually the B word, but anyway...

The next day, some of Nita's peers greeted her with praise, and others with criticism.

"DID YOU HAVE TO BE GREEDY AND TAKE TWO TROPHIES?" a guy yelled as he passed her in the hall.

"I DIDN'T PICK MYSELF" she yelled back.

A girl who sat in the back of her vocabulary class smirked "How did Nita win? She doesn't even have the looks."

Another girl pranced her way to the front to relay what was said and who said it. Then went on to say "What do you have to say to that?"

"I don't care," Nita replied, then drifted back to daydreaming about being a famous singer. Then, on second thought, a writer.

Nita's desire to enrich the lives of others made the idea of writing a splendid way for her to do so.

Her writings are designed to inspire and enlighten.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

AC McCants (aka Anita Cullum McCants) created The Tactile Vision Board and The Tactile Vision Book Project for the purpose of igniting ideas for a vision board project for The Blind and The Visually Impaired.

The Tactile Vision Board and The Tactile Vision Book are perceived by touch. 

McCants writes short stories, song lyrics, ideas, and more to enrich the lives of others.

To check out stories, songs & more by ac mccants, visit...

https://linktr.ee/acmccants

With Only a 3rd Grade Education

My grandfather was born in South Carolina in 1913. He had to drop out of school in the third grade and work in the fields to help his family. 

In those days in the South, black children were usually pulled out of school by fourth grade to limit their education. 

As an adolescent, my grandfather and his brothers decided to head up north for work. However, shortly after, my grandfather returned to the South. 

As a young married man with a family, he worked various jobs, including self-employed services. 

He owned a wood and coal yard, as well as an ice house. 

By the mid-1960s, my grandfather decided to start a business under his namesake - John T. Rice and Sons Garbage Collection Service.

He and my uncle Charles were partners in this successful business, which employed others to help with their routes. 

Despite his limited education and improper grammar, my grandfather did not let anything get in the way of turning his dreams into reality. 

In this photo is my grandfather (John Thomas Rice, Sr) with his sons, my uncle Tommy with his daughter Tara and my uncle Charles (my grandfather's business partner) posing in front of one of their garbage trucks.

I hope my grandfather's story inspires others to believe in themselves and pursue their dreams. 

About the Author: 

AC McCants created The Tactile Vision Board and The Tactile Vision Book Project to ignite ideas for a vision board project for the blind and visually impaired. 

McCants writes short stories, song lyrics, and more to enrich the lives of others.

The Tactile Vision Board: A Vision Board for The Blind and The Visually Impaired

The Tactile Vision Board and the Tactile Vision Book Project was created to ignite ideas for a vision board project for The Blind and The Visually Impaired.

The Tactile Vision Board and The Tactile Vision Book are perceived by touch.

The images for the Tactile Vision Board can be posted on a magnetic board or a poster board and can be secured with adhesive strips or adhesive magnetic strips.

The images for the Tactile Vision Book can be posted in a book with cardstock, poster board or plastic pages. And secured with adhesive strips.

The images for the Tactile Vision Board and The Tactile Vision Book could come from pre-cut shapes from wood or cardboard or plastic.  

The shapes could be a car, a house, a guitar and so forth. Raised words or braille text could also be used.

WHAT IS A VISION BOARD?

A Vision Board is a collage of images and words representing your dreams and goals.

It serves as a reminder for you to stay focused on what you want in life.

DO NOT CLUTTER YOUR VISION BOARD

A cluttered vision board makes it harder for you to focus on your goals consciously and subconsciously.

You could post your vision board or vision book where you would come in contact with it on a regular basis.

For what you want to remain private, label it private. Just remember what it is.

Before Making a Vision Board or a Vision Book,

create a list of:

*What you want to Do

*What you want to Have

•What you want to Give  

and...

*How you want your life to Be

You do not have to know how everything is going to fall into place. Just be clear about what you truly desire.

When you are clear about what you want in life, ideas and opportunities come to you to help make your dreams come true.

THE STORY BEHIND THE VISION BOARD for THE BLIND

A.C. McCants was inspired to create a vision board for the blind because of her admiration for Jeanette Cade, who was a real estate broker that some believed to be completely blind.

One evening, during a discussion about careers, Cade realized McCants enjoyed designing posters to help others attract attendees to their events. 

Cade suggested McCants go to school for graphic designing. She wanted McCants to have a career in doing something she enjoyed doing.

A few weeks later, Jeanette Cade passed away.

When McCants looked at her vision board again, the idea of a vision board for the blind came to mind. She researched names for raised words and images and found the word TACTILE.

The word TACTILE was the perfect word for McCants to use in her title for her vision board project for the blind. She called her project The Tactile Vision Board.

Throughout the years, McCants would revise her Tactile Vision Board Project.

One day, McCants came across an article: The Tactile Picture Books Project by Tom Yeh. That particular article gave McCants the idea to create The Tactile Vision Book for The Blind and The Visually Impaired.

Again and again, McCants continued to revise her Tactile Vision Board and Tactile Vision Book Project until one day she discovered an article online: Can You Create a Vision Board with No Vision? This article was written by Empish J. Thomas, who is blind. 

With the help of a friend, Thomas created a tactual vision board to help her accomplish a specific goal.

McCants finally decided it was time to stop revising her Vision Board Project for The Blind and post it online along with helpful tips for creating one.

A Short Story and Poem by ac mccants…

THE BLIND LADY WANTED ME TO DESIGN

 THE DEAF LADY WANTED ME TO SING

Jeanette Cade 

was a real estate broker 

Whom some believed to be 

completely blind

It was hard for me to tell

She seemed to be looking at me 

from time to time

I gave her a poster I created

To help promote her company

She held my design upside down

Yet her compliment, I did BELIEVE

One day she said to me

For graphic designing

You should go to school 

Designing is something 

It seems you love to do

I was looking to help her

But she actually helped me

Gone But Not Forgotten 

As She Rest in Peace

Somewhere in time, some of my co-workers and I formed a band so we could perform at our outdoor event.

It was a thrill for me to be on stage singing background as well as solo.

When we were done performing, one of the ladies (from the company) came up to me and said "Child you miss yo callin'." 

Later that day or maybe the next, a lady named Shirley (from a department I once worked in) passed me a letter she had written on scrap paper.

 

Shirley could not hear me because she was deaf. When I read her letter I could tell she believed it was my destiny to be a performing artist. And a part of me believed it as well.

I always thought about Shirley’s letter, and hoped someday we would reconnect.

Shirley could not hear me

But believed performing was my destiny

I can’t remember her last name

But I think about her just the same

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

A.C. McCants writes short stories, song lyrics, ideas and more to enrich the lives of others.

McCants created The Tactile Vision Board and The Tactile Vision Book Project for the purpose of igniting ideas for a vision board project for The Blind and The Visually Impaired.

Not All Kids Are Resilient

"Be strong for your momma." I uttered those words to my much younger cousin Nancy who was only eight when she lost her dad to lightning.

At that time I was not aware of how remarks like that could impact a child.  I was not aware until several years after my children lost their dad to stomach cancer.

It was the beginning of our daughter's second week as a high school freshman at a new school, a public school (with classmates she had not previously attended school with) and our son's first day of fifth grade at the same private school he had been attending since the age of three.

In both schools there were teachers who were compassionate and understanding.
There were also a few disconnected teachers who were quick to remind me my kids were not going through anything, and that whole nonsense about kids are resilient as if all kids just bounce right back after experiencing death of a parent or guardian.

Although the kids and I had a bereavement coordinator who counseled us on a monthly basis for almost a year after their dad passed away, it wasn't until several years later when I discovered some well-meaning adults had privately told them to be strong for me.

My kids had been instantly given a responsibility they did not need to be burden with.

So there it was several years later when my daughter had gone off to college and my son was attending a public high school, I discovered their poems and writings and learned there were times when they were sad from missing their dad, but kept it from me because they were told to be strong for me.

After the kids became young adults and done with college they made me aware that many nights throughout the years after losing their father it was hard for them to fall asleep because the house was too quite and they had been used to falling asleep to the sounds from the TV playing in the front room.

They knew they could talk to me about anything. But matters stemming from their father's death, they kept from me for the sake of being strong for me.

If only I had known, I could have assured them they did not have to be strong for me.

I could have been there for them doing whatever I could to comfort them.

POEM: PROOF GOD IS REAL

God gave us science

to connect the dots

and understand

God also gave us 

mysteries that not even

scientist can comprehend

Jesus performed  miracles 

which no one debated 

back then

After He died on the cross,

more than five hundred saw

Him alive again

Yes God Is Real

I Rest My Case

The End